Jason B. Ladd

Ask the Questions. Embrace the Answers. Make the Leap.

The Golden Rule and Strong Marriages

golden

When you spoke these words, did you know you were quoting scripture?

  • “Whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12).¹

As someone who began studying Christianity late in life, I was surprised to see how much our culture is built upon biblical wisdom.  There is plenty to explore on this topic, but for now I want to focus on how we treat people.

  • How do you treat the barrista when your coffee is not perfectly crafted?  
  • What does your face communicate to the exasperated parent with the whaling toddler?
  • Do you show contempt for your spouse?

Here are some choices we must make on a daily basis:

  1. Patience or frustration
  2. Empathy or detachment
  3. Serve or be served

Your choice may be influenced by your worldview.

Patience would have no survival value when working from a naturalistic framework.  He who waits for his food while others build into a ravenous frenzy starves.  In theory, patience should have been selected for extinction.

Empathy is a difficult feeling to embrace if your worldview focuses on reaching a state of total emptiness.

Serving others could interfere with their spiritual advancement if you believe in a system of karmic debt.

People with the above worldviews can act patient, display empathy, and serve others; but their actions may be contrary to their convictions.  These choices will affect how you treat the barrista, the parent, and your spouse.

In Malcolm Gladwell’s book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking he interviews psychologist John Gottman who reveals how to tell if a marriage is in trouble.

Gottman was able to identify the “single most important indicator that a marriage is in trouble: contempt.”²  

(Click here to Tweet that!)

This can mean disdain, willful disobedience, or simply a lack of respect.  However is is displayed, it will kill your marriage.

If you want to strengthen your relationships, take the following action:

  • Be patient when you don’t feel like it
  • Put yourself if in the other person’s shoes
  • Be the first to serve and the last to demand

In other words, follow the Golden Rule.

Is there a Silver Bullet to keep us from missing the mark?

Related Posts

¹The New King James Version, Mt 7:12 (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1982).

²Malcom Gladwell, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking (New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2005), 32.

Photo credit: Jason B. Ladd

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

About jasonbladd

5 Replies

  1. Awesome. I have started an outreach ministry to reach out to teens using the priniciples of the Golden Rule

    1. jason.b.ladd@gmail.com

      Thank you for the reblog!