Jason B. Ladd

Author | Apologist | Entrepreneur

The Golden Rule and Strong Marriages


When you spoke these words, did you know you were quoting scripture?

  • “Whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12).¹

As someone who began studying Christianity late in life, I was surprised to see how much our culture is built upon biblical wisdom.  There is plenty to explore on this topic, but for now I want to focus on how we treat people.

  • How do you treat the barrista when your coffee is not perfectly crafted?  
  • What does your face communicate to the exasperated parent with the whaling toddler?
  • Do you show contempt for your spouse?

Here are some choices we must make on a daily basis:

  1. Patience or frustration
  2. Empathy or detachment
  3. Serve or be served

Your choice may be influenced by your worldview.

Patience would have no survival value when working from a naturalistic framework.  He who waits for his food while others build into a ravenous frenzy starves.  In theory, patience should have been selected for extinction.

Empathy is a difficult feeling to embrace if your worldview focuses on reaching a state of total emptiness.

Serving others could interfere with their spiritual advancement if you believe in a system of karmic debt.

People with the above worldviews can act patient, display empathy, and serve others; but their actions may be contrary to their convictions.  These choices will affect how you treat the barrista, the parent, and your spouse.

In Malcolm Gladwell’s book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking he interviews psychologist John Gottman who reveals how to tell if a marriage is in trouble.

Gottman was able to identify the “single most important indicator that a marriage is in trouble: contempt.”²  

(Click here to Tweet that!)

This can mean disdain, willful disobedience, or simply a lack of respect.  However is is displayed, it will kill your marriage.

If you want to strengthen your relationships, take the following action:

  • Be patient when you don’t feel like it
  • Put yourself if in the other person’s shoes
  • Be the first to serve and the last to demand

In other words, follow the Golden Rule.

Is there a Silver Bullet to keep us from missing the mark?

Related Posts

¹The New King James Version, Mt 7:12 (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1982).

²Malcom Gladwell, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking (New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2005), 32.

Photo credit: Jason B. Ladd

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

About jasonbladd

5 Replies

  1. Awesome. I have started an outreach ministry to reach out to teens using the priniciples of the Golden Rule

    1. jason.b.ladd@gmail.com

      Thank you for the reblog!